PaulyPeligroso: Saying "prerequisite" without slurring should be a...
PaulyPeligroso: Saying "prerequisite" without slurring should be a prerequisite for passing a field-sobriety test.
View ArticleEliBraden: I'm a "meetin' potatoes" kinda guy (I love to make the...
EliBraden: I'm a "meetin' potatoes" kinda guy (I love to make the acquaintance of potatoes)
View ArticleYUCKYBOT: The McRib can't just come waltzing back into my life like...
YUCKYBOT: The McRib can't just come waltzing back into my life like everything is okay. You've done this before, McRib. YOU'RE JUST GONNA LEAVE AGAIN!
View ArticleContactLangley: Having one of those "I can smell my balls through my jeans"...
ContactLangley: Having one of those "I can smell my balls through my jeans" kind of days.
View Articlejuliussharpe: "I bothered someone famous and they gave me this to make me go...
juliussharpe: "I bothered someone famous and they gave me this to make me go away" - Autographs
View ArticlePaulyPeligroso: When I die, I hope it's because I went through a brick wall...
PaulyPeligroso: When I die, I hope it's because I went through a brick wall so hard that it left a hole shaped like my silhouette.
View Articlejuliussharpe: National anthems are all so braggy.
juliussharpe: National anthems are all so braggy.
View Articlemorgan_murphy: taking vicodin when you actually need it feels like a waste of...
morgan_murphy: taking vicodin when you actually need it feels like a waste of a vicodin.
View ArticleBestWorstAdvice: Hate your job? Get a neck tattoo and never get hired by...
BestWorstAdvice: Hate your job? Get a neck tattoo and never get hired by anyone again.
View ArticleixSEANxi: Excuse me, but you spilled some poser on your Ramones shirt.
ixSEANxi: Excuse me, but you spilled some poser on your Ramones shirt.
View Articledubouchet: The name is Ching. Chuck Ching. I build cash registers.
dubouchet: The name is Ching. Chuck Ching. I build cash registers.
View Articledubouchet: Pardon me, cake shows, but for the last fucking time, THOSE AREN'T...
dubouchet: Pardon me, cake shows, but for the last fucking time, THOSE AREN'T CAKES.
View Articledrewtoothpaste: The new Ohio license plate includes the slogan "34th Largest...
drewtoothpaste: The new Ohio license plate includes the slogan "34th Largest State." That's technically true, but... guys... really?
View ArticleBillMc7: Kim Kardashian should've named her perfume Kontemptible Kunt.
BillMc7: Kim Kardashian should've named her perfume Kontemptible Kunt.
View Articlebadbanana: Whipped cream in a pie tin is not a pie. Stop wasting our time,...
badbanana: Whipped cream in a pie tin is not a pie. Stop wasting our time, clowns.
View Articleusedwigs: I'm at my 3-year-old's holiday concert. They better not play any...
usedwigs: I'm at my 3-year-old's holiday concert. They better not play any new stuff.
View Articlesbellelauren: i wonder if china has fancy plates called america
sbellelauren: i wonder if china has fancy plates called america
View ArticleFATJEW: "The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel everyday"...
FATJEW: "The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel everyday" #ClassicStonerIdea
View ArticleEliBraden: "Make cave drawing. It last longer." - Bitchy cave-woman
EliBraden: "Make cave drawing. It last longer." - Bitchy cave-woman
View ArticlesucittaM: I can usually get in a good 8 second banshee shriek while using any...
sucittaM: I can usually get in a good 8 second banshee shriek while using any given revolving door.
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